Akram's Razor - Reflections on Islam, Muslims & America

Marriage, motherhood, & the Nuclear Option

There's a wonderful post on Imam Suhaib Webb's website on the need for the Muslim community to recognize that, as important and noble as traditional family roles are, there is an infinity of ways that Muslim women may achieve their spiritual potential and serve their Lord.

Here's an excerpt from Maryam Amir-Ebrahim's Wifehood and Motherhood are Not the Only Ways to Paradise:

Allah (swt) did not create women for the sake of wifehood or motherhood. This is not our first goal, nor our end goal. Our creation was to fulfill our first and most important role—to be His SLAVE. As He tells us in Surah Dhaariyat (Chapter of the Winnowing Winds), “And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.”

Worship comes in such a variety of forms. Being a housewife (a.k.a. domestic engineer!) can be a form of worship. Being a stay-at-home-mom can be a form of worship. Being a working wife and mother can be a form of worship. Being an unmarried female student can be a form of worship. Being a divorced female doctor, a female journalist, Islamic scholar, film director, pastry chef, teacher, veterinarian, engineer, personal trainer, lawyer, artist, nurse, Qur’an teacher, psychologist, pharmacist or salon artist can each be a form of worship. Just being an awesome daughter or house-fixer upper can be forms of worship. We can worship Allah (swt) in a variety of ways, as long as we have a sincere intention, and what we do is done within the guidelines He has set for us.

Unfortunately, however, that is not the message our community is sending to single sisters – both those who have never been married, and those who are now divorced. When I speak to many women and ask them about the ways they want to contribute to society and the ways they want to use their time and abilities, a number of them will tell me that they have no idea and that they’re only going through the motions of school or work while they’re waiting for Prince Muslim to come along and with whom they can establish parenthood.

However, Prince Muslim is not coming along quickly or easily for many awesome, eligible Muslim women. And for some, he has come along, and he or the institution of their relationship turned out to be more villainous than harmonious. Single and never married or divorced — very capable and intelligent Muslim women constantly have to deal with the pressure of being asked, “So…when are you getting married? You aren’t getting any younger. It’s harder to have kids when you’re older.” [MORE]

I'd love to see what this author has to say about the insecurity too many Muslim men (and their matchmaking mothers, for that matter) in the USA manifest when considering highly educated and professionally accomplished women for marriage.

I think a bona fide crisis is brewing within the Muslim community in North America in this arena, as far too many wonderful, dynamic and by any sensible standard highly eligible American-born Muslim women are struggling to find partners who are comfortable with their achievements and quite reasonable and halal expectation that they remain engaged in professional life after marriage. These are women who should be getting eagerly snatched up like top NBA draft picks, but instead they're often being left out in the cold over petty, stupid Old World hang-ups. It's madness.

I see striking parallels with the situation in which educated African-American women--whose difficulties in finding suitable partners have gotten a lot of MSM coverage of late--find themselves. Some observers have even argued that for reasons of chemistry and long-term viability these women are better off giving up on Black men and focusing their efforts on landing a white husband with a kindred socioeconomic background.

That's a line of thinking I've heard discouraged young Muslim women apply to their own situation as they ponder the Nuclear Option, marrying a non-Muslim.* The trend is already well underway, I believe, as I've heard the laments for over a decade and can count half a dozen cases just off the top of my head in my own social circle of Muslimahs throwing in the towel and going Ahl Kitab.

For those that don't know, though the Quran does not directly address the matter either way, most Muslim scholars consider it forbidden for Muslim women to marry a non-Muslim. Thus, such marriages are  controversial within the Muslim community (a fact that sometimes leads to pro forma conversions by lovestruck but theologically unconvinced suitors).

Not that I am or aspire to be anybody's faqih, but I am not convinced it is indeed haram under all circumstances. It's a terrible idea in my book in most cases for a host of reasons, but I think there are situations where it makes sense and should therefore be an option for those who need it.

And, whatever one thinks about it, it must ultimately be the woman's decision, anyway. She's the one who's going to spend the rest of her life with the guy. And it's not like the community is likely to gallantly swoop down to her aid when an ill-conceived union with a man with whom she had nothing in common other than religion that was foisted on her inevitably comes crashing down.

American Muslim statement on the 10th anniversary of 9/11

Wajahat Ali has posted (after, characteristically, spearheading the drafting of) a statement signed by a number of prominent Muslims--plus myself-- on the 10-year anniversary of the 9/11 tragedyon HuffPo called "A Muslim American Declaration." Please check it out. I think it came out very nicely.

Call for Contributions: "I Speak for Myself: American Men on Being Muslim"

Sorry if you got this twice, but I want to make sure it's in everybody's RSS feeds and featured at the top of the page.

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Alright, guys, if you're "a practicing Muslim American man, born and/or predominantly raised in the U.S." who's got something to get off his chest about being Muslim in America, this is your chance.

From the project's Facebook page:

Great news! The 2nd book in the ISFM series will be published next year! We are now accepting submissions.  Please see below for the criteria:

 I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim (White Cloud Press, May 2011) is being received very positively in the media and is spurring dialogue that we feel is necessary and timely.  In this vein, we want to continue the conversation with a sequel called I Speak for Myself: American Men on Being Muslim.  The book will be published by White Cloud in 2012.

Each essay must be written by a practicing Muslim American man, born and/or predominantly raised in the U.S. We are looking for contributors between the ages of 22 and 45 who claim Islam as their faith.

Please write articulately about a personal aspect of your life with regards to being a Muslim American man.  The essay should express in some way how your Muslim-ness and American-ness affect your life.  This need not be overt but the essay should come from that perspective.

Essays should be no longer than 1500 words and will be edited for clarity.  All submissions may not be accepted, but every submission will be considered.  Please include name, age, DOB, full contact info, birthplace, ethnicity, sect of Islam, profession/field, and anything else about yourself that might be useful for us to know (short bios are fine).

This is a project that, Inshallah, will appear across a variety of platforms, both national and international.

Please send all queries about this project and/or entries via email to:  isfm786@gmail.com.

I'm contributing a piece on some of the odd twists and turns that went with growing up as a white Muslim in Boston in the 1980s.

Here's the predecessor in this series, which was just published: I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim

Captain Hook becomes mayor in the UK

No, I'm not talking about that moronic comic book zealot, Abu Hamza Al-Masri. (Sorry if I caused any of you Brits to soil yourselves.) I'm just riffing on this get-up.

A milestone in the UK: Britain Gets First Muslim Woman Lord Mayor - Europe - News - OnIslam.net

In a major leap for the Muslim minority in Britain, a Muslim woman was named on Tuesday, May 24, as the lord mayor of the district of Bradford.

Not that it takes anything away from the achievement, but by way of context Bradford is basically the British answer to Detroit (only with South Asian Muslims--often from Kashmir--instead of Arab ones, and proportionately considerably more of 'em).

I love the Halloween costumes that some British officials must wear on formal occasions. We really should import that to the States, if only to enliven otherwise numbingly dull proceedings.

I suddenly have this urge to watch my beloved "Rumpole of the Bailey."

Timely report on French women and the veil

A very timely study on Muslim women and the veil in France has just been released by the Open Society Foundations. It's available for download in English. Unveiling the Truth: Why 32 Women Wear the Full-Face Veil in France | At Home in Europe Project | Open Society Foundations

This report from the At Home in Europe Project aims to distinguish myths and misrepresentations surrounding women who wear the full-face veil from the actual experiences and testimonies of the women themselves, by reporting on the women’s backgrounds, their decisions to wear the veil, their daily experiences in public, and their views on the legislation.

Based on the testimony of 32 women across France, Unveiling the Truth offers the opportunity to hear directly from the women who are affected by the ban on face coverings, all of whom freely chose to wear the veil without, and often inspite of, pressure from family members and spouses. The stories they tell about their lives are sometimes humorous but more often than not heart-rending, especially in relation to their treatment by strangers, members of their communities, the media and politicans.

Contrary to the usual stereotype of Muslim women who wear the face veil, the majority of women whose voices are heard are like any other French woman with active social lives: working, attending classes, seeing friends, eating out, playing sports and actively engaging in local activities. [MORE]

I haven't read it yet--and I am no fan of the niqab in a Western context, it must be said--but I'm sure this research exposes how shallow, ironically sexist and disconnected from reality these hysterical calls for a "burqa" ban in France are. (This isn't ultimately about Muslim women, either. It's Sarko's transparent and demagoguic gambit to reverse electoral gains by the odious far-right anti-immigrant National Front Party.)

As is often the case, I'm amazed and inspired by all the vital work that George Soros does. One might call him the "Jimmy Carter" of Billionaires (a comparison I find the highest praise). If only more of the super-wealthy had the vision to dedicate a portion of their resources to promoting social justice and desperately political and civic reform as opposed to endlessly squandering it on "philanthropy" that really amounts to little more than self-interested lobbying (a la the Koch brothers, Pete Peterson, the Waltons, and so on, whose "activism" and proposed "reforms" consistently happen to shower them or their businesses with tax breaks).

I'm reminded of Fareed Zakaria's excellent (and surprisingly radical) reflection on the many woes besetting American political life, The Future of Freedom: Illiberal Democracy at Home and Abroad. It, explores, among many other fascinating indices of our nation's politico-cultural decline,  how American political and economic elites no longer feel obligated to give a damn thing back to society, in striking contrast to their peers in all previous generations. As American society becomes anachronistically feudal, it's perverse and perplexing for so the few among America's ruling class to be willing to even live up to a basic social principle of the medieval European feudal order, namely the notion of La Noblesse oblige (or "Nobility obliges [one to do something for those who are less fortunate])."

Rabbis speaking out against Islamophobia

These public statements are really inspiring.

If you're Muslim, please spread the word about this, too. Muslims need to know about the many Jews and members of other faith traditions (including none) who are taking a stand against this campaign of hate.

From Stand Together: Rabbis Speak out against Islamophobia (Rabbis for Human Rights), via Joshua Stanton at Tikkun Daily:

Ever since the September 11, 2001 attack on the United States, hatred and discrimination against Muslim Americans has been growing. Over the past year, the rhetoric has only gotten louder and more violent. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights protects the freedoms of religion, speech, and assembly. These are also essential American values. Yet across the United States today, we see attempts to prevent the construction of mosques, laws outlawing Sharia law, and the vilification of our Muslim neighbors and friends as un-American. Jewish historical experience remembers that not too long ago, we too were the victims of suspicion and hatred based on our religion and ethnicity. The actions of the few should not condemn the many, and every religion has its teachings both of violence and of peace. Jewish tradition demands that we remember the heart of the stranger, because we were strangers in the land of Egypt. If one minority can be singled out for congressional hearings or restrictions on places of worship, anyone can be.

These are not American values. These are not Jewish values. It is time to Stand Together and speak out against Islamophobia.

RHR-NA is part of the growing chorus of interfaith voices speaking out against anti-Muslim bigotry. We believe that prejudice toward Muslims was a contributing factor that led to U.S. acceptance of torture. We have become a member of “Shoulder-to-Shoulder: Standing with American Muslims; Upholding American Values,” a coalition of 23 religious organizations that are engaged in efforts to end anti-Muslim bigotry.

Below are a series of videos from rabbis and rabbinical students explaining why Islamophobia is against Jewish values. We encourage you to watch them and to share them with your community. We also encourage you to create your own video and upload it to YouTube tagged “rabbisagainstislamophobia.” We want to hear from you in your own words why bigotry against Muslims is wrong.

[MORE]

And, since one good turn deserves another and because it's something that I think some Muslims would benefit greatly from, why not stage a comparable Muslim event?

We've all had to sit through our share of moronically anachronistic khutbas that paint the modern world as a struggle between "the Muslims" and "the Kufaar." As exaggerated and/or politically motivated as many of the hysterical claims of Islamophobes often are, that doesn't change how ignorant and intolerant the discourse of some Muslims--including some traditional scholars, it must be said--is when it comes to non-Muslims.

Rank and file Muslims need to be reminded that inclusive, peaceful worldviews exist among the ulema that are no less rooted in Islamic values.

 

Who's the Fifth Column again?

This clip of bigoted vitriol from a protest against a Muslim fundraiser in California is pretty revolting stuff.

 

On the myth that the Quran forbids friendship with non-Muslims

Since I'm blogging up a storm tonight, I direct your attention to this useful discussion of "Friendship with Non-Muslims according to the Qur'an" by Afroz Ali of the Australian Al-Ghazzali Centre for Islamic Sciences and Human Development.

This is a topic about which one hears so much utter drivel today, so Br. Ali's short but thougthful and pretty systematic overview of Quranic verses relating to social relations between Muslims and non-Muslims is very handy and enlightening.

The article shows that contrary to the conventional wisdom among Islamophobes and hardline Islamists today, the Quran "allows and recognizes friendship on the basis of common interest, dignity, understanding and respect, with whoever exercises these commendable human qualities." The verses customarily cited as proof of enmity between Islam and Christianity or Judaism do not concern friendship at all, but refer to the dangers of over-dependency on outsiders in a time of  great religious conflict.

Also, as a fan of puns, I note approvingly that this center publishes a "ghazzette".

Rednecks and the Eid Stamp

Sabiwabi pointed out a new and sure-fire way of gauging redneck-itude.* Being up in arms about the Eid stamp. 

My point isn't that everyone can be reasonably expected to welcome it with open arms in these contentious times. In our ever changing society with all its competing worldviews and lifestyles, to find all developments in cultural and social life to be equally welcome would seem more likely a sign of a cognitive disorder than tolerance or enlightenment.  If a person is ambivalent or even downright uncomfortable with what they perceive Islam or Muslim culture to be --as many undoubtedly well meaning non-Muslim observers today are (thanks IMO as much to sensationalized and dumbed-down media coverage as to the actual conflicts that wrack modern life)--I can't blame her for greeting the Eid Stamp with indifference or even a bit of anxiety. It's not unlike how a person from a previous, less culturally eclectic generation of American might react to the sight of bilingual English/Spanish signs in the hospital, seeing them as the latest evidence of his side losing a zero-sum game for cultural influence. 

Still, it is one thing to be dismayed by cultural or demographic developments one finds unwelcome and another to neurotically view them as an existential threat to Ma, Dad and apple pie.  The latter reaction signals intense prejudice in the overwhelming majority of cases.

An aside: There was a time when one could reasonably have argued that anti-Muslim sentiment didn't warrant being cast as a "phobia" in American life, but, boy, are those halcyon days long gone. The paranoia and prejudice polluting our culture today about Islam (whether it be the latest conspiracy theory about the Eid Stamp** or this bizarre hoax among Islam-bashers about Hamas and pedophilia ) is only getting more shrill and psychologically disturbed.

It's ironic: The people most likely to object to comparisons between Muslims and Jews in terms of prejudice are busy undermining their case and making that comparison seem ever more commonsensical and uncontroversial. With our air thick with all this of hate and fear, how can a reasonably well informed person deny that, at least for some important segments of the Right, Muslims are indeed the new "Jews", second-class citizens to be marginalized and openly ridiculed? (Some--such as the  neo-Nazi British National Party--are already openly acknowledging that they have moved their cross-hairs off Jews and retrained them on Muslims.)

* With all due apologies to the many decent "rednecks" out there, some of whom I call kin.

** See Sheila Musaji's article for more.

Newsweek on the myth of "Eurabia"

There's an incisve analysis in the current issue of Newsweek of the flawed assumptions that go into alarmist "Eurabia" demographic-threat rhetoric we hear so often on the Far Right.

It points out that a lot of the numbers that get thrown around in this debate are not only pure speculation, but speculation by people with anti-immigration agendas.

Here's the crux of the article.  "Why Fears Of A Muslim Takeover Are All Wrong" by William Underhill (NEWSWEEK - Jul 20, 2009):

For the number of Muslims to outnumber non-Muslims by midcentury, it would require either breeding on a scale rarely seen in history or for immigration to continue at a pace that's now politically unacceptable. More likely, new controls will slow Muslim immigration. The birthrate for Muslim immigrants is also likely to continue to decline, as it has tended to do, with greater affluence and better health care. There is no Europewide data available, but one study says fertility rates among Turkish-born women in the Netherlands fell from 3.2 in 1990 to 1.9 in 2005, barely above the figure for native-born Dutch. Over the same period, the equivalent figure for Moroccan-born women in the Netherlands dropped from 4.9 to 2.9. Also, fertility rates are edging upward in some Northern European countries, which would offset some of the Muslim growth. Bottom line: given the number of variables, demographers are loath to make predictions about the number of Muslims in Europe in the years to come. "You would almost have to make it up," says Carl Haub, the senior demographer at the Population Reference Bureau in Washington. And the idea of a Muslim majority any time soon? "Absolutely absurd."

Read the whole thing. It covers a lot of ground.

HT: Indigo Jo